


His Past With Her

by RichardGraysonPercyJackson



Series: Dick Grayson Shorts [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Gentleness, Good Slade Wilson, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Slade Wilson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 14:08:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18345242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichardGraysonPercyJackson/pseuds/RichardGraysonPercyJackson
Summary: Dick's been dating Slade for awhile and what the mercenary doesn't know won't hurt him, right?But what Dick knows might





	His Past With Her

**Author's Note:**

> If you've already read this before I added the panic attack/PTSD tag, then I deeply apologize.

Most of the time, Dick woke from nightmares with a shout, chest heaving as he gasped for air.

Except when they were nightmares about  _ her _ .

When he had nightmares about her, he woke up calmly. The only sign he was awake being his opening eyes and pounding heart. It would make anyone think he was just waking up normally.

The only downside was that he couldn’t move. He couldn’t feel  _ anything _ except for her phantom touches. 

He never cried or made a sound. Nothing that could wake the other person in the bed.

So Slade had no idea about Catalina. About what had happened with Catalina.

Dick was pretty sure the mercenary would go  _ nuclear _ if he knew. So Dick didn’t tell him. After all, ignorance is bliss.

 

…………

 

It was a Bad Day. Jason - who knew about the event and had gone nuclear after Dick had told him - had called a few times and even come to sit with Dick for a few hours since Slade was out of town. But it didn’t help and eventually Dick had sent him home.

Now the acrobat was curled up on the couch, eyes unfocused as he shook minutely and tried to ignore the hands he could feel wandering over his body.

He barely reacted to the sound of the front door but the moment he saw black and orange out of the corner of his eyes, he swallowed down a scream and closed his eyes tightly. 

“Little bird?”

He let out a hard breath. It was just Slade. “What are you wearing?” Dick asked quietly, unsure if he had actually seen the colors or if he’d just dreamed it.

He heard Slade step near him. “Richard-”

“What are you  _ wearing _ , Slade?” Dick demanded, hoping Slade didn’t hear the absolute  _ fear  _ in his voice.

“My suit,” Slade replied slowly. 

“Change,” Dick whispered, curling up and hiding his face in his knees. “Please. Put it away.”

Slade didn’t say anything else but Dick heard him leave the room. He didn’t know how long he lay there in a tiny ball, shaking, before he heard Slade come back out of the bedroom.

“What’s wrong?” the mercenary asked quietly, carefully kneeling in front of the couch and stroking his hand through Dick’s hair. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Dick said quietly, peeking up at Slade over his knees. “Just...just a bad day.”

Slade looked concerned. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Dick gave a sad smile that Slade couldn’t see. “Maybe if I were sure you wouldn’t go on a bloody rampage,” he mumbled. “I don’t want you killing anyone.”

“I assume then that I’m not going to like whatever is causing this?” Slade asked.

Dick smiled, reaching one hand out for Slade to take which the mercenary dutifully did.

“Yeah,” Dick said softly. “I don’t want you to kill her.”

“I want to know what happened though,” Slade said gently. “And I’d prefer to hear it from you as opposed to having to hunt the information down.”

“Why?” Dick asked, teasingly. “Too lazy?”

“This is something that has hurt you, Richard,” Slade said calmly. “It’s only right that you be the one to tell me.”

Dick was quiet for a moment, gazing down at their interlaced hands. “Not today,” he said quietly. “Maybe...maybe some other time but...but not today. I can’t...I can’t think about it today.”

“And that’s fine,” Slade said softly, stroking his thumb over Dick’s knuckles. “Take your time.”

 

………….

 

Dick had a nightmare about her again. He woke up silently again.

He woke up paralyzed again.

Any other night, he wouldn’t have minded waiting it out.

But Slade had been out later that night. Which meant Dick had barely been awake and unable to move by the time Slade walked in.

“Still awake?” Slade asked him, moving over to place a kiss on Dick’s forehead before moving into the bathroom to change. Dick was glad his breathing didn’t speed up to hyperventilation until after Slade had closed the bathroom door.

Because he’d still been in his suit. Still in the black and orange.

Dick flinched violently, at least internally, when he suddenly felt hard rooftop beneath his bared back, exposed skin pelted by the freezing rain.

And suddenly, there she was. Leaning over him, grinding down on him, touching him even as he was saying,

“No, no, no, no,” Dick begged as mantra, shaking his head back and forth, struggling to force his paralyzed limbs to move, to fight the hands on his upper arms.

She was leaning over him, face obscured by her long, wet hair that brushed against his shoulder and made him want to scream.

His throat burned. He wondered if he was screaming. He was sobbing, begging, he knew that much. At least...he thought he knew that much.

“It’s alright, mi amor,” she told him, her voice deeper and more masculine than Dick could remember. “I’m right here but I need you to focus, okay?”

Dick blinked, frowning. For one second, barely a second, her hair had been white instead of long and brown. Dick shuddered when he felt a warm, gentle presence at his back, warm hands rubbing gently over his arms.

“You’re alright, little bird,” a soft voice whispered in his ear. “You’re alright. Just take a deep breath for me. Okay?”

Dick blinked rapidly, the rainy rooftop flashing to a warm, dry bedroom. He blinked again and it became more solid. More real.

His legs were straight out in front of him and he was leaning limply against a warm body, head lolling against their shoulder.

“Pretty bird?”

Slade. It was Slade. He was in bed in his apartment with Slade. He was okay. She wasn’t...she wasn’t…

Dick sobbed, entire body shaking violently as Dick began to cry. Slade held him close and gentle, stroking his hand over Dick’s back until the acrobat finally went limp against him.

“Here,” Slade murmured, pressing a glass to Dick’s lips. “Water. Small sips.”

Dick did as he was told and shuddered when his stomach rolled and he felt like he was going to throw up. Not that there was much to throw up.

“Are you alright?” Slade asked quietly.

“Wanna lay down,” Dick mumbled.

Slade hummed, carefully helping Dick lie down, keeping the acrobat close with a gentle arm around the boy’s shoulders.

“If you want to talk about it,” Slade said after a few moments. “I’ll listen.”

Dick didn’t reply for a few seconds. “Her name was Catalina,” he whispered, resigning himself to the fact that he was more or less writing her death certificate by giving Slade her name. “She killed Blockbuster and I...sort of went into shock. So she...she took me up to the rooftop and pushed me down. She took my suit off-”

“And I think I can figure the rest out,” Slade said softly. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to kill her,” Dick replied.

Slade hummed. “I wouldn’t have.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“It’s the truth,” Slade said. “Because she’s already dead.”

Dick pushed himself up slowly, looking over at Slade with a frown. “What?”

Slade sighed. “Your brother killed her.”

Dick frowned. “Jason?” he whispered. “But...when? H-how do you know that?”

Slade was silent. “Because Jason told me everything shortly after you and I started dating.”

“Why would he do that?” Dick asked in a whisper.

“Because he wanted to make sure I was equipped to help you,” Slade replied. “But I wanted to let you tell me of your own accord.”

“How much did Jason tell you?”

“What I needed to know,” Slade answered. “But I assure you, I think no less of you.”

“But-”

“I still love you, no matter what,” Slade cut in gently, stroking his hand over Dick’s arm. “And I assure you, Richard I will never,  _ ever  _ leave.”


End file.
